Post by Jo Smith on Nov 25, 2008 12:51:52 GMT -5
This is Rachel Viola Smith. This is her story.
~~~~~~~ Her Birth ~~~~~~~~
Several months ago I felt led of God to write about my little girl, Rachel. But I had so much else to do that I forgot about this. Yesterday it came back to me that I should do this message. So now, with the help of my Lord, I will try to remember as much of the great things as I can.
Rachel was a child of faith even before her birth. In my fourth month of pregnancy I was sitting in a swing just relaxing. All of a sudden I felt God’s Holy Presence come near. Then He spoke to me and said, I want you to name the baby Rachel. I was very trilled with this. So I told my husband and other girls what God had said to me. This was before doctors could tell you the sex of the child before birth.
A short while after this, our new home, which was only two years old at this time caught fire and burned up. Due to my pregnancy I could not help with the cleaning up of the mess. Afterwards, we bought a double-wide and placed back there.
Shortly after this my whole family became very ill. We all felt we were dying. This was very unusual for my girls to be sick. At the time we had three girls. After being treated for the flu several rounds, the doctor finally caught on that we had carbon monoxide poisoning. They had failed to open the vent for the heater.
We were very worried if this would have effected the baby. We were concerned for this the rest of the time until she was born.
In my eighth month, I was resting on the bed one day. Again I felt God come near me. This time He said to me, I want you to name the baby Viola; this is my Mother’s name.
Stupidly, my husband and I continued to search for a name for a boy if the baby should be a boy. But we never did find a name which suited us. No wonder! God had already told me what to name HER.
My oldest child wanted me to name her Rachel Dawn. But I said No, I must name her what God told me to. Some day you may have a little girl and use that name. She did.
This message will be too long for one post. So I will do it in sections.
The time of her birth was very spiritual. My husband carried me to the hospital early in the day. But I had almost no labour all day. Finally at bed time, he had to leave to get the other girls to sleep; they were in school.
Almost as soon as he left, I felt hard labour hit me. I rang the bell to get a nurse. She came in and examined me. I asked for something for the pain. She would not give it, for she said I was no where near ready. She said I had dilated only a small amount and the baby was still much too high.
I said to God, Lord Jesus please help me; for they will not help me. Immediately I felt the baby start to be born. I normally am a shy person and would not do this kind of thing; but I knew I had to; I rang the bell again. It was a good thing I moved to do it right then; for I would never have been able to even a moment later.
The nurse said she had not even walked away from my door. She saw the light come back on and came back into the room. I told her the baby is coming. She said well let me see. When she checked, she was astonished to see the baby coming. She called for another nurse to help her. But they did not have time to move me. The other nurse only came into the room and stood there transfixed. In a moment Rachel was born, making only sweet little sounds. No screaming.
The nurse laid her on my stomach. I looked at her and fell in love.
Rachel's first two years ~~~~~~~~
From the very start Rachel was the sweetest person I have ever known. She never cried or fussed as many children do. Even if she was hurt she would only cry a moment. She showed more love than anyone I have ever known. She was just unusual from the very beginning. My husband, children and I loved her so very much. She was the delight of our lives. My others girls were almost grown when Rachel was born.
Rachel seemed to love everyone. She never met a stranger. She gave love to everyone. It really amazed me. I think how Mary and Joseph must have marveled at Jesus.
Even as a toddler she loved Jesus. I taught her out of the Word of God. After she could talk, she spoke of Jesus regularly. She would beg me to read the Word to her. She sang songs about Jesus all the time. Anytime someone asked her to sing, it would be about Jesus.
When Rachel was around two years old, I had a dream that she ate some giblets of paper and choked to death. This troubled me very much. A short time later I dreamed of going to a lovely place where some beautiful flowers were blooming; a stream of water ran by. I was walking on the side of this place. I saw some children around the age of eight to ten playing so peacefully and happily together. As I watched, a lovely girl who looked to be eight years old ran out to them. They seemed so happy to see her and welcomed her lovingly. She began to play with them. I saw that they were never tired or afraid; for nothing could hurt them.
I was amazed at this dream. It felt so spiritual; yet I had no understanding of what it could mean. A few weeks later, I again dreamed of seeing these children playing around this beautiful stream of water. Some of the children were bad; and kept on the other side of the stream. Sometimes they would try to get across to where the good children were playing; but the angels would tell them they could not go over there until they learned to be good. This truly amazed my mind.
Then Wanna , one of my other daughters had a dream that Rachel was run over and killed. Then Rhonda, another daughter had a dream that Rachel was run over and killed. By this time Becky, the oldest was married.
That winter, snow and ice was on the ground. Wanna and her boy friend (later her husband, Mark) were walking with Rachel down the road. A neighbor came by, he began sliding on the ice and almost ran over Rachel. Wanna snatched her up and managed to get her out of the way. She told me he came within inches of hitting Rachel. Satan was after her life.
Only a short while after this, my husband died, leaving me with three children to finish raising. Rachel was only two years old.
She was upset at her daddy’s dying. She seemed to understand as no two year old should be able to do. She was always much wiser than her years. In fact as she grew, she showed more wisdom than anyone I knew.
Once she had the flu. At that time many people we knew had it and were sick for at least a week or longer. Wanna tried to give Rachel some medicine; but she refused it. She said, “Wanna I do not need medicine. Jesus will heal me.” Sure enough, the next day she was well. She had great faith.
Anything which came up, she would say, Jesus will make it alright.
Her next four years ~~~~~
When Rachel was four years old, I met B.L., my second husband. She and he loved each other from the start. He loved God also; and we studied the Scriptures day and night together. Rachel loved the Word of God. I taught her to read out of the Scriptures. I never read her bible stories; I read her the Word. Once I read her the book of Job. She just loved it and begged me to read it to her again. I couldn’t imagine a child this young loving that book that much.
She was very excited over the resurrection of Lazarus. Every time I read it to her, she would dance with excitement and beg to hear it again and again. I would tell her about our eternal home with Jesus. She would be so excited over this and beg me to go on and on with it. Each time I stopped, she would beg for more.
We moved to a place close to a river. One day she and BL went down to play in the water with some friends. When they came home, he told me “Satan is after Rachel. She almost drowned.” He said she had slid down under some rocks and he almost could not get her. He was very shaken over this.
At six years of age, she wanted to be Baptized in the Name of Jesus. We took her for the Baptism. She was very excited over this. She prayed every day. At night she would not go to bed without taking her Bible with her. She put it into her bed every night.
Even before I met BL, I had started teaching her verses. At night I would quote verses and let her say them as her night prayers. She would speak them during the day and use them for any situation which came up.
I would look out the window and see Rachel sitting in the yard with the family Bible in her lap, barely able to hold it, reading it.
When she was in the second grade the teacher told me she was reading on an eighth grade level. I had taught her to read out of John.
I had taught her that the holidays are evil, devil worship things. She never wanted these things. Anything we told her was wrong, she would put it away immediately. At X-mas time, we would go into places of business and someone would ask her, ‘what is santa clause going to bring you; or what did he bring you’. She would speak up as bold as a lion, I do not believe in santa clause, I believe in Jesus’.
They just shut up; for they did not know what to do with this.
Around this time, she was sick again. A lady who came to see us at times saw she was sick and told me to take her to the doctor. Rachel told her, I do not need a doctor, Jesus will make me well. The lady was upset with this and sort of threatened me. She said, “I am coming back tomorrow and if that child is not well, I will report you to the authorities.” Rachel told her, “My Jesus always makes me well. I do not take medicine.”
The next day the lady came back. She took one look at my well Rachel, out playing and just left too ashamed to say anything.
Rachel began to tell BL and me how spirits came to her and talked to her. She said at night when she lay down, they would come into the room with her and tell her things. She said when she played, a black spirit would come and tell her to do bad things. She would tell him no. Then a white spirit would come and tell her to do good things. We did not teach her this; it came to her.
A battle was going on over Rachel. She had too much boldness for a child; she had too much knowledge; she had too much faith; she was a great witness for Jesus. She showed too much love to too many people. Satan was after Rachel.
More about Rachel ~~~~~~~
Rachel was a very kind, tender person. She could not stand to see anyone or anything hurt. This showed me she had the spirit of good in her.
Even from the time she could talk, she would speak from one birthday to the next of her birthday. She was more obsessed with this than anyone I ever know. BL and I were amazed at how she spoke of her birthday the whole year round. That is until she had her eighth birthday; after this birthday, she never spoke of it again. BL and I often commented about this to each other; how she had quit speaking of her birthday.
She had a thing of saying let me do a thing while I can. It really amazed me. She would say, “let me go see Grandma while I can” or let me go see Wanna while I can”. Wanna was married now and had her two children. Becky had two children. Rachel loved her little nieces and nephews so very much. They were only a little younger than she was.
She spoke often of desiring to grow up and have her own children and dressing them. She seemed overly obsessed with this to be so young.
Then she would say, I never got to do such and such a thing. I would tell her, Well Rachel, you are still very young; you will get to do these things in the years to come. But she would just look sad and shake her head. It really puzzled me.
Along about the time of her sixth year, I had a dream which really tormented me. I dreamed that Rhonda, my other daughter, was riding on a horse in front of two men who were on horses; each riding single file through a woods. I watched in horror. I saw the two men very clearly. Rhonda came to a fallen log; I saw despair cross her face; for she knew she could not jump safely over the log. But the two men behind her would not let her turn around. She knew she had to jump; yet she knew she could not make it. I watched in horror as she attempted the jump.
She fell to the ground and I saw her very clearly laying there. I knew she was dead; I knew her neck was broken.
As I have had hundreds of dreams come to pass just as I dreamed them, this one left me horrified. I told it to BL. He told me a few days later that God had shown him that it was not Rhonda, but Rachel. I just could not accept this.
At this time Rhonda was in Texas in the Army. Rhonda and Rachel looked just alike except for the hair color.
As a result of this, we became very over-protective of Rachel. A neighbor used to come over and ride her on his horse; she loved this. But we became afraid because of this dream and stopped this.
Then Rachel began to be obsessed with the desire for her breasts to grow. She commented often to BL and me that her breasts had not grown any. We would tell her tenderly that she was not old enough. I told her, when you are a few years older they will grow. It reached a point this was said almost every day. I have never seen a child this young so concerned with this.
Rachel loved to ride on our tractor; we stopped this out of fear of maybe this being the warning. During that last few months she lived, this dream tormented me more and more. I prayed and prayed and begged God not to let it happen. But I could not stop the torment. BL reached a point he was tired of my speaking of it and told me not to say anymore about it. Well, this hurt me for I had to speak of it. So I did not speak of it anymore to him; but it kept tormenting me just the same; more and more with each passing day.
I prayed and prayed about it --All to no avail.
Then I had a dream that Rhonda came home; she was wearing a black and white dress. We held each other in our arms and cried as if our soul would come out. I had never felt such intense grief. When I awoke, I told this dream to BL. I said, I don’t know what it is; but I know something horrible is about to happen.
Rachel's death ~~~~~~~~
Rachel was born on Jan. 10, 1974. From her third birthday until her eighth birthday, she talked of her birthday continuously. After her eighth birthday, she never spoke of it again. This amazed BL and me.
She spoke often of her desire to grow up and have her own children and to dress them. That is until the summer of 1982. During this summer, she changed and began to tell me that she wished she could stay a little girl forever and by my little girl forever. This amazed me since she had been so vehemently wanting to grow up.
She became obsessed with this desire for her breasts to grow. One day in early September, 1982, We were sitting at the table. Rachel seemed unusually sad (she was always a happy, smiling, laughing, child).
She said, “Daddy, my breasts still have not grown any.” She pulled up her little shirt to show him. He told her tenderly, “ Darling, your breasts will grow in a few years; you are still too young.”
She looked him straight in the eyes and said in a matter-of-factly, sad voice, “No, Daddy. They will never grow”.
After that she never spoke of it again. This struck a cord of sadness in my heart. I did not know why.
Rachel was forever writing me little love notes. I would find them everywhere.
BL had two little boys who had died in young childhood. He had told her of them. I had two little boys who had died at birth. Rachel spoke of these four children very frequently; she talked of them as if she knew them personally and seemed to play with them. It really amazed us. This was an on going thing. During the summer of 1982, this was almost each day.
She talked of these four children as if they were her closest friends. This child was a very unusual child.
Rachel had started the third grade. She went three weeks. She developed a boil on one of her fingers. It was very sore. For a few days she could not eat. She told me the day of Sept. 20, “Mama, I have gotten to where I can’t eat”. I said, Yes I have noticed that.
The next day, we took her shopping for a note book and I bought her a coloring book. We all loved to color in her books. I still have them.
The next day, Sept. 22, 1982, as Rachel waited for the school bus, ( she loved for me to stand in the door until she was on the bus: she would continuously call ‘bye’ to me)-- this morning I watched for a few minutes; she kept calling, bye.
I was tired, so I went and laid back down. I felt a strange sadness pull from her to my heart. It puzzled me.
This is almost too sad for me to keep writing this. But I want so much to finish her story.
Pray for me.
This is the first time I have cried over Rachel in years.
That day her teacher called me and told me to come and get her for her finger was hurting. BL was not home at the time, so I told her I would call him and get him to pick her up on the way home. As I reached for the phone to dial him, God spoke to me in that still, small voice and said, Don’t do that.
Well, it was such a small voice that I paid no attention. People, this and other times I paid dearly for disobedience is one thing which proves to me that this is truly the voice of God speaking to me.
He picked her up; then they went somewhere together. I was sewing her a new school out-fit. I told them I would join them in a little while.
Wanna called me on the phone and we talked a while. I did not realize how much time had passed. I had told them I would come and bring them something to drink and eat.
Well, when I arrive where they had gone, cars were up and down that road as far as I could see. I knew immediately that something bad had happened to one of them.
BL came to me crying. He said Rachel had been run over. She was still on the ground when I arrived. After they left with her, I went into the little building there; I could not pray for Rachel to live; for in my heart I knew she would not. I prayed for God to do what was best for Rachel. When I said that I knew she was dead.
When the school bus went by my house that evening, my baby was dead. I had disobeyed the voice of God. It is a dangerous thing to disregard this still small voice; which some people sneer at my hearing.
My soul is in great grief as I write these words.
This many years later, My soul longs for my sweet little girl. The tears are flowing so much, I have to wait to finish this.
Rhonda came home from Texas. When she arrived, she and I held each other in our arms and cried that horrible cry I had dreamed. Don’t tell me God does not still give prophetical dreams! She wore a black and white dress to Rachel’s funeral. Don’t tell me!
Two weeks later as Wanna came to visit me, I was telling her of the sweet love notes I continued to find from Rachel. I went into my bedroom to get something; when I opened my desk, there were two notes from Rachel. She had written them the last night she lived and placed them there for me to find in my hours of grief.
In these notes she had thanked me for her note book and the coloring book; which had not been used. I still have them. Then I found a drawing of her, BL and me. She had written a story of us.
As I sat there talking about Rachel to Wanna, all of a sudden God flashed that dream from years back of little eight year old children playing happily together; He said to me, that is where she is now; that was her which ran out to play with them; the one you saw arrive there in that lovely place.
People as God is true---- as He is my witness------ every word of this is the truth. I would certainly not make up stuff about my darling girl and her life and death.
Now for more: when the man who had run over my baby came to see me, IT WAS THE MAN WHO HAD BEEN RIDING THAT HORSE BEHIND RHONDA IN MY DREAM TWO YEARS BEFORE. THE OTHER MAN WHO WAS ON THE OTHER HORSE, WAS IN THE TRUCK WITH HIM.
As God is my witness, they both looked exactly as they had looked in that dream. I would have known them!! That is how true these spiritual gifts still are. People, My God is still Real. He is still speaking to His people in dreams and visions. Don’t doubt. Seeks Him while He may be found.
For over two years, I went through intense grief and suffering; only God knows how much my soul hurt and grieved. I sometimes went into the woods and laid down; hoping a poison snake would come along and bite me. She and I used to play some games in creeks. I would go and want to play the games and say to her; Come on Rachel; let’s float our little boats.
As I went to do it the first time --- God spoke to me and said “Don’t do this”. It was that small still voice again. Again I disobeyed. I wanted so much to relive our playing together. Well I can tell you, I did not do that again. The grief which tore through me, only God knows!!!!! How much I wanted to die also.!
For over two years this went on. I did not seek relief from it; for I wanted to grieve for her. To me she was worth suffering over.
Finally, I knew I could not take it anymore; so I asked God to deliver me. He showed me each time the grief started, to focus on the resurrection when I would see her again. This stopped the suffering. Shortly after her death, I had dreamed of seeing her in the casket; I had stood over her and watched her open her beautiful eyes, look up at me and say in that special way she had of saying, “Moma, Moma”.
Now, it all makes sense: her obsession with wanting to do things while she could; her grieving over things she never got to do; her desire to have her children; her breasts to grow---- something inside her knew she NEVER WOULD.
BL told me that she had come to him three different times and told him she would never be NINE. This is why she had quit speaking of her birthday; something inside her knew it would never come.
It was a utility truck which ran over her. People, I could have been rich if I had sued them. But I did not. A lawyer friend wanted to sue for half a million dollars. I would not. Their lawyer came to see me; he told me I probably would have gotten it; I told him they did not have enough money I would trade for my child’s life. His eyes filled with tears as I said that. God told me you cannot serve God and mammon. I would not want to face Rachel on the other side and have to say I profited off your death.
Lots of people have told me I was crazy to do this: but I had to obey God. I had to forgive this man for killing my child then lying about it.
When I spoke to the doctor who examined Rachel at the hospital, I asked him specifically if her neck was broken; for that is what had been shown me in that dream. He told me yes.
Matt. 2: 18--In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted because THEY ARE NOT.
Jeremiah 31:15--Thus saith the LORD; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping: Rachel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not.
v16--Thus saith the LORD; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy. (death is the enemy).
v17--and there is hope in thine end, saith the LORD, that thy children shall come again to their own border.
I found this after Rachel’s death. Then I understood her grief that she would never grow up and have her children which she longed so much to have. She never would. Some kind of way, she fits this thing. Some kind of way what happened to her shows all of this.
This is speaking of those boy babies killed by Herod at the time of Jesus’ birth. But this shows they will come again to their own border. They are playing there in that beautiful land with my Rachel, Eric, and Criss, my babies; and BL Jr. and Robert those babies she loved without having seen. They are all there together.
****************
I know this is long; but I hope you all will take the time to read it; and that in her death, Rachel is still giving out her sweet love.
People who lived below us came to me after her death and told me that every time they passed my house, she would run down toward the road and wave at them. I had not known that. A man who runs a train had seen her out one day with BL and said there is my little sweetheart; each time I go by, she runs up toward the road and waves to me.
She was full of Love for everyone and for Jesus.
*******************
Baby, you are still a blessing to all.
Your Mother still loves you with all my heart and soul.
Rachel died on September 22, 1982, having lived only eight years, and eight months.
**************************
I will see you again, in the morning, My Darling, in that great resurrection day.
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~~~~~~~ Her Birth ~~~~~~~~
Several months ago I felt led of God to write about my little girl, Rachel. But I had so much else to do that I forgot about this. Yesterday it came back to me that I should do this message. So now, with the help of my Lord, I will try to remember as much of the great things as I can.
Rachel was a child of faith even before her birth. In my fourth month of pregnancy I was sitting in a swing just relaxing. All of a sudden I felt God’s Holy Presence come near. Then He spoke to me and said, I want you to name the baby Rachel. I was very trilled with this. So I told my husband and other girls what God had said to me. This was before doctors could tell you the sex of the child before birth.
A short while after this, our new home, which was only two years old at this time caught fire and burned up. Due to my pregnancy I could not help with the cleaning up of the mess. Afterwards, we bought a double-wide and placed back there.
Shortly after this my whole family became very ill. We all felt we were dying. This was very unusual for my girls to be sick. At the time we had three girls. After being treated for the flu several rounds, the doctor finally caught on that we had carbon monoxide poisoning. They had failed to open the vent for the heater.
We were very worried if this would have effected the baby. We were concerned for this the rest of the time until she was born.
In my eighth month, I was resting on the bed one day. Again I felt God come near me. This time He said to me, I want you to name the baby Viola; this is my Mother’s name.
Stupidly, my husband and I continued to search for a name for a boy if the baby should be a boy. But we never did find a name which suited us. No wonder! God had already told me what to name HER.
My oldest child wanted me to name her Rachel Dawn. But I said No, I must name her what God told me to. Some day you may have a little girl and use that name. She did.
This message will be too long for one post. So I will do it in sections.
The time of her birth was very spiritual. My husband carried me to the hospital early in the day. But I had almost no labour all day. Finally at bed time, he had to leave to get the other girls to sleep; they were in school.
Almost as soon as he left, I felt hard labour hit me. I rang the bell to get a nurse. She came in and examined me. I asked for something for the pain. She would not give it, for she said I was no where near ready. She said I had dilated only a small amount and the baby was still much too high.
I said to God, Lord Jesus please help me; for they will not help me. Immediately I felt the baby start to be born. I normally am a shy person and would not do this kind of thing; but I knew I had to; I rang the bell again. It was a good thing I moved to do it right then; for I would never have been able to even a moment later.
The nurse said she had not even walked away from my door. She saw the light come back on and came back into the room. I told her the baby is coming. She said well let me see. When she checked, she was astonished to see the baby coming. She called for another nurse to help her. But they did not have time to move me. The other nurse only came into the room and stood there transfixed. In a moment Rachel was born, making only sweet little sounds. No screaming.
The nurse laid her on my stomach. I looked at her and fell in love.
Rachel's first two years ~~~~~~~~
From the very start Rachel was the sweetest person I have ever known. She never cried or fussed as many children do. Even if she was hurt she would only cry a moment. She showed more love than anyone I have ever known. She was just unusual from the very beginning. My husband, children and I loved her so very much. She was the delight of our lives. My others girls were almost grown when Rachel was born.
Rachel seemed to love everyone. She never met a stranger. She gave love to everyone. It really amazed me. I think how Mary and Joseph must have marveled at Jesus.
Even as a toddler she loved Jesus. I taught her out of the Word of God. After she could talk, she spoke of Jesus regularly. She would beg me to read the Word to her. She sang songs about Jesus all the time. Anytime someone asked her to sing, it would be about Jesus.
When Rachel was around two years old, I had a dream that she ate some giblets of paper and choked to death. This troubled me very much. A short time later I dreamed of going to a lovely place where some beautiful flowers were blooming; a stream of water ran by. I was walking on the side of this place. I saw some children around the age of eight to ten playing so peacefully and happily together. As I watched, a lovely girl who looked to be eight years old ran out to them. They seemed so happy to see her and welcomed her lovingly. She began to play with them. I saw that they were never tired or afraid; for nothing could hurt them.
I was amazed at this dream. It felt so spiritual; yet I had no understanding of what it could mean. A few weeks later, I again dreamed of seeing these children playing around this beautiful stream of water. Some of the children were bad; and kept on the other side of the stream. Sometimes they would try to get across to where the good children were playing; but the angels would tell them they could not go over there until they learned to be good. This truly amazed my mind.
Then Wanna , one of my other daughters had a dream that Rachel was run over and killed. Then Rhonda, another daughter had a dream that Rachel was run over and killed. By this time Becky, the oldest was married.
That winter, snow and ice was on the ground. Wanna and her boy friend (later her husband, Mark) were walking with Rachel down the road. A neighbor came by, he began sliding on the ice and almost ran over Rachel. Wanna snatched her up and managed to get her out of the way. She told me he came within inches of hitting Rachel. Satan was after her life.
Only a short while after this, my husband died, leaving me with three children to finish raising. Rachel was only two years old.
She was upset at her daddy’s dying. She seemed to understand as no two year old should be able to do. She was always much wiser than her years. In fact as she grew, she showed more wisdom than anyone I knew.
Once she had the flu. At that time many people we knew had it and were sick for at least a week or longer. Wanna tried to give Rachel some medicine; but she refused it. She said, “Wanna I do not need medicine. Jesus will heal me.” Sure enough, the next day she was well. She had great faith.
Anything which came up, she would say, Jesus will make it alright.
Her next four years ~~~~~
When Rachel was four years old, I met B.L., my second husband. She and he loved each other from the start. He loved God also; and we studied the Scriptures day and night together. Rachel loved the Word of God. I taught her to read out of the Scriptures. I never read her bible stories; I read her the Word. Once I read her the book of Job. She just loved it and begged me to read it to her again. I couldn’t imagine a child this young loving that book that much.
She was very excited over the resurrection of Lazarus. Every time I read it to her, she would dance with excitement and beg to hear it again and again. I would tell her about our eternal home with Jesus. She would be so excited over this and beg me to go on and on with it. Each time I stopped, she would beg for more.
We moved to a place close to a river. One day she and BL went down to play in the water with some friends. When they came home, he told me “Satan is after Rachel. She almost drowned.” He said she had slid down under some rocks and he almost could not get her. He was very shaken over this.
At six years of age, she wanted to be Baptized in the Name of Jesus. We took her for the Baptism. She was very excited over this. She prayed every day. At night she would not go to bed without taking her Bible with her. She put it into her bed every night.
Even before I met BL, I had started teaching her verses. At night I would quote verses and let her say them as her night prayers. She would speak them during the day and use them for any situation which came up.
I would look out the window and see Rachel sitting in the yard with the family Bible in her lap, barely able to hold it, reading it.
When she was in the second grade the teacher told me she was reading on an eighth grade level. I had taught her to read out of John.
I had taught her that the holidays are evil, devil worship things. She never wanted these things. Anything we told her was wrong, she would put it away immediately. At X-mas time, we would go into places of business and someone would ask her, ‘what is santa clause going to bring you; or what did he bring you’. She would speak up as bold as a lion, I do not believe in santa clause, I believe in Jesus’.
They just shut up; for they did not know what to do with this.
Around this time, she was sick again. A lady who came to see us at times saw she was sick and told me to take her to the doctor. Rachel told her, I do not need a doctor, Jesus will make me well. The lady was upset with this and sort of threatened me. She said, “I am coming back tomorrow and if that child is not well, I will report you to the authorities.” Rachel told her, “My Jesus always makes me well. I do not take medicine.”
The next day the lady came back. She took one look at my well Rachel, out playing and just left too ashamed to say anything.
Rachel began to tell BL and me how spirits came to her and talked to her. She said at night when she lay down, they would come into the room with her and tell her things. She said when she played, a black spirit would come and tell her to do bad things. She would tell him no. Then a white spirit would come and tell her to do good things. We did not teach her this; it came to her.
A battle was going on over Rachel. She had too much boldness for a child; she had too much knowledge; she had too much faith; she was a great witness for Jesus. She showed too much love to too many people. Satan was after Rachel.
More about Rachel ~~~~~~~
Rachel was a very kind, tender person. She could not stand to see anyone or anything hurt. This showed me she had the spirit of good in her.
Even from the time she could talk, she would speak from one birthday to the next of her birthday. She was more obsessed with this than anyone I ever know. BL and I were amazed at how she spoke of her birthday the whole year round. That is until she had her eighth birthday; after this birthday, she never spoke of it again. BL and I often commented about this to each other; how she had quit speaking of her birthday.
She had a thing of saying let me do a thing while I can. It really amazed me. She would say, “let me go see Grandma while I can” or let me go see Wanna while I can”. Wanna was married now and had her two children. Becky had two children. Rachel loved her little nieces and nephews so very much. They were only a little younger than she was.
She spoke often of desiring to grow up and have her own children and dressing them. She seemed overly obsessed with this to be so young.
Then she would say, I never got to do such and such a thing. I would tell her, Well Rachel, you are still very young; you will get to do these things in the years to come. But she would just look sad and shake her head. It really puzzled me.
Along about the time of her sixth year, I had a dream which really tormented me. I dreamed that Rhonda, my other daughter, was riding on a horse in front of two men who were on horses; each riding single file through a woods. I watched in horror. I saw the two men very clearly. Rhonda came to a fallen log; I saw despair cross her face; for she knew she could not jump safely over the log. But the two men behind her would not let her turn around. She knew she had to jump; yet she knew she could not make it. I watched in horror as she attempted the jump.
She fell to the ground and I saw her very clearly laying there. I knew she was dead; I knew her neck was broken.
As I have had hundreds of dreams come to pass just as I dreamed them, this one left me horrified. I told it to BL. He told me a few days later that God had shown him that it was not Rhonda, but Rachel. I just could not accept this.
At this time Rhonda was in Texas in the Army. Rhonda and Rachel looked just alike except for the hair color.
As a result of this, we became very over-protective of Rachel. A neighbor used to come over and ride her on his horse; she loved this. But we became afraid because of this dream and stopped this.
Then Rachel began to be obsessed with the desire for her breasts to grow. She commented often to BL and me that her breasts had not grown any. We would tell her tenderly that she was not old enough. I told her, when you are a few years older they will grow. It reached a point this was said almost every day. I have never seen a child this young so concerned with this.
Rachel loved to ride on our tractor; we stopped this out of fear of maybe this being the warning. During that last few months she lived, this dream tormented me more and more. I prayed and prayed and begged God not to let it happen. But I could not stop the torment. BL reached a point he was tired of my speaking of it and told me not to say anymore about it. Well, this hurt me for I had to speak of it. So I did not speak of it anymore to him; but it kept tormenting me just the same; more and more with each passing day.
I prayed and prayed about it --All to no avail.
Then I had a dream that Rhonda came home; she was wearing a black and white dress. We held each other in our arms and cried as if our soul would come out. I had never felt such intense grief. When I awoke, I told this dream to BL. I said, I don’t know what it is; but I know something horrible is about to happen.
Rachel's death ~~~~~~~~
Rachel was born on Jan. 10, 1974. From her third birthday until her eighth birthday, she talked of her birthday continuously. After her eighth birthday, she never spoke of it again. This amazed BL and me.
She spoke often of her desire to grow up and have her own children and to dress them. That is until the summer of 1982. During this summer, she changed and began to tell me that she wished she could stay a little girl forever and by my little girl forever. This amazed me since she had been so vehemently wanting to grow up.
She became obsessed with this desire for her breasts to grow. One day in early September, 1982, We were sitting at the table. Rachel seemed unusually sad (she was always a happy, smiling, laughing, child).
She said, “Daddy, my breasts still have not grown any.” She pulled up her little shirt to show him. He told her tenderly, “ Darling, your breasts will grow in a few years; you are still too young.”
She looked him straight in the eyes and said in a matter-of-factly, sad voice, “No, Daddy. They will never grow”.
After that she never spoke of it again. This struck a cord of sadness in my heart. I did not know why.
Rachel was forever writing me little love notes. I would find them everywhere.
BL had two little boys who had died in young childhood. He had told her of them. I had two little boys who had died at birth. Rachel spoke of these four children very frequently; she talked of them as if she knew them personally and seemed to play with them. It really amazed us. This was an on going thing. During the summer of 1982, this was almost each day.
She talked of these four children as if they were her closest friends. This child was a very unusual child.
Rachel had started the third grade. She went three weeks. She developed a boil on one of her fingers. It was very sore. For a few days she could not eat. She told me the day of Sept. 20, “Mama, I have gotten to where I can’t eat”. I said, Yes I have noticed that.
The next day, we took her shopping for a note book and I bought her a coloring book. We all loved to color in her books. I still have them.
The next day, Sept. 22, 1982, as Rachel waited for the school bus, ( she loved for me to stand in the door until she was on the bus: she would continuously call ‘bye’ to me)-- this morning I watched for a few minutes; she kept calling, bye.
I was tired, so I went and laid back down. I felt a strange sadness pull from her to my heart. It puzzled me.
This is almost too sad for me to keep writing this. But I want so much to finish her story.
Pray for me.
This is the first time I have cried over Rachel in years.
That day her teacher called me and told me to come and get her for her finger was hurting. BL was not home at the time, so I told her I would call him and get him to pick her up on the way home. As I reached for the phone to dial him, God spoke to me in that still, small voice and said, Don’t do that.
Well, it was such a small voice that I paid no attention. People, this and other times I paid dearly for disobedience is one thing which proves to me that this is truly the voice of God speaking to me.
He picked her up; then they went somewhere together. I was sewing her a new school out-fit. I told them I would join them in a little while.
Wanna called me on the phone and we talked a while. I did not realize how much time had passed. I had told them I would come and bring them something to drink and eat.
Well, when I arrive where they had gone, cars were up and down that road as far as I could see. I knew immediately that something bad had happened to one of them.
BL came to me crying. He said Rachel had been run over. She was still on the ground when I arrived. After they left with her, I went into the little building there; I could not pray for Rachel to live; for in my heart I knew she would not. I prayed for God to do what was best for Rachel. When I said that I knew she was dead.
When the school bus went by my house that evening, my baby was dead. I had disobeyed the voice of God. It is a dangerous thing to disregard this still small voice; which some people sneer at my hearing.
My soul is in great grief as I write these words.
This many years later, My soul longs for my sweet little girl. The tears are flowing so much, I have to wait to finish this.
Rhonda came home from Texas. When she arrived, she and I held each other in our arms and cried that horrible cry I had dreamed. Don’t tell me God does not still give prophetical dreams! She wore a black and white dress to Rachel’s funeral. Don’t tell me!
Two weeks later as Wanna came to visit me, I was telling her of the sweet love notes I continued to find from Rachel. I went into my bedroom to get something; when I opened my desk, there were two notes from Rachel. She had written them the last night she lived and placed them there for me to find in my hours of grief.
In these notes she had thanked me for her note book and the coloring book; which had not been used. I still have them. Then I found a drawing of her, BL and me. She had written a story of us.
As I sat there talking about Rachel to Wanna, all of a sudden God flashed that dream from years back of little eight year old children playing happily together; He said to me, that is where she is now; that was her which ran out to play with them; the one you saw arrive there in that lovely place.
People as God is true---- as He is my witness------ every word of this is the truth. I would certainly not make up stuff about my darling girl and her life and death.
Now for more: when the man who had run over my baby came to see me, IT WAS THE MAN WHO HAD BEEN RIDING THAT HORSE BEHIND RHONDA IN MY DREAM TWO YEARS BEFORE. THE OTHER MAN WHO WAS ON THE OTHER HORSE, WAS IN THE TRUCK WITH HIM.
As God is my witness, they both looked exactly as they had looked in that dream. I would have known them!! That is how true these spiritual gifts still are. People, My God is still Real. He is still speaking to His people in dreams and visions. Don’t doubt. Seeks Him while He may be found.
For over two years, I went through intense grief and suffering; only God knows how much my soul hurt and grieved. I sometimes went into the woods and laid down; hoping a poison snake would come along and bite me. She and I used to play some games in creeks. I would go and want to play the games and say to her; Come on Rachel; let’s float our little boats.
As I went to do it the first time --- God spoke to me and said “Don’t do this”. It was that small still voice again. Again I disobeyed. I wanted so much to relive our playing together. Well I can tell you, I did not do that again. The grief which tore through me, only God knows!!!!! How much I wanted to die also.!
For over two years this went on. I did not seek relief from it; for I wanted to grieve for her. To me she was worth suffering over.
Finally, I knew I could not take it anymore; so I asked God to deliver me. He showed me each time the grief started, to focus on the resurrection when I would see her again. This stopped the suffering. Shortly after her death, I had dreamed of seeing her in the casket; I had stood over her and watched her open her beautiful eyes, look up at me and say in that special way she had of saying, “Moma, Moma”.
Now, it all makes sense: her obsession with wanting to do things while she could; her grieving over things she never got to do; her desire to have her children; her breasts to grow---- something inside her knew she NEVER WOULD.
BL told me that she had come to him three different times and told him she would never be NINE. This is why she had quit speaking of her birthday; something inside her knew it would never come.
It was a utility truck which ran over her. People, I could have been rich if I had sued them. But I did not. A lawyer friend wanted to sue for half a million dollars. I would not. Their lawyer came to see me; he told me I probably would have gotten it; I told him they did not have enough money I would trade for my child’s life. His eyes filled with tears as I said that. God told me you cannot serve God and mammon. I would not want to face Rachel on the other side and have to say I profited off your death.
Lots of people have told me I was crazy to do this: but I had to obey God. I had to forgive this man for killing my child then lying about it.
When I spoke to the doctor who examined Rachel at the hospital, I asked him specifically if her neck was broken; for that is what had been shown me in that dream. He told me yes.
Matt. 2: 18--In Rama was there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children, and would not be comforted because THEY ARE NOT.
Jeremiah 31:15--Thus saith the LORD; A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation, and bitter weeping: Rachel weeping for her children refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not.
v16--Thus saith the LORD; Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the LORD; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy. (death is the enemy).
v17--and there is hope in thine end, saith the LORD, that thy children shall come again to their own border.
I found this after Rachel’s death. Then I understood her grief that she would never grow up and have her children which she longed so much to have. She never would. Some kind of way, she fits this thing. Some kind of way what happened to her shows all of this.
This is speaking of those boy babies killed by Herod at the time of Jesus’ birth. But this shows they will come again to their own border. They are playing there in that beautiful land with my Rachel, Eric, and Criss, my babies; and BL Jr. and Robert those babies she loved without having seen. They are all there together.
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I know this is long; but I hope you all will take the time to read it; and that in her death, Rachel is still giving out her sweet love.
People who lived below us came to me after her death and told me that every time they passed my house, she would run down toward the road and wave at them. I had not known that. A man who runs a train had seen her out one day with BL and said there is my little sweetheart; each time I go by, she runs up toward the road and waves to me.
She was full of Love for everyone and for Jesus.
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Baby, you are still a blessing to all.
Your Mother still loves you with all my heart and soul.
Rachel died on September 22, 1982, having lived only eight years, and eight months.
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I will see you again, in the morning, My Darling, in that great resurrection day.
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